April 2011
1 post
All The Small Things
I just wrote a paragraph and a half about my anxiety and I deleted it all. I don’t know why. I need to go back to writing…Xanga, here I come.
January 2011
1 post
May 2010
1 post
This Is The Kind Of Thing I Need Right Now
Andy: Thank you for existing!
Me: Thank you for wanting me to exist.
Andy: If I could want anything it would be for me to stick you in my pocket and carry you around everywhere I go.
Me: I'd love to live my life in your pocket!
Andy: There's weed in there.
Me: Even better.
April 2010
12 posts
Tomorrow At Three
My whole life could change. Or go back to the way it was before. I’d rather have the second one.
Why do I put myself in these uncomfortable situations?
Just Like A Movie →
Running Is A Lot Like Sex
Think about it.
It’s such an extreme release of emotions. And it always makes you feel better. Sometimes it’s better with music, sometimes it’s better without, but you always have to be in the mood. Sometimes while you’re running you have to push yourself through the hills because you know the final outcome will be something amazing. It might get hard at times but you...
Listen, listen, listen.
11 tags
Let's Try A Mix(ed up) Tape.
1. It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye: Boyz II Men (Although I have my high school’s acapella group’s version of it which I like, A LOT more.) —-How do I, say goodbye, to what we had? The good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad. I thought we’d get to see forever, but forever’s gone away. It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. I don’t know where...
Robot Unicorn Attack →
Don’t start playing this game unless you want to get addicted. And get the song stuck in your head. Seriously. I’m warning you.
Things That Are On My Mind About Tomorrow (Today...
Because I need a plan to keep my head on straight right now.
1. Return the fuchsia dress to Dillard’s. No where near as beautiful and flattering as the blue one. 2. Track time! At least a mile, maybe more. Enough to wear me out for the day. 3. If it’s nice again, which I’m sure it will be, it’s time to get some sun. 4. My license is still expired DAMMIT. 5. I don’t...
1 tag
3 tags
“But it’s hard. It’s hard when you’re in love. You don’t...”
– My mother
March 2010
44 posts
2 tags
Hilary Is The Best.
Hilary: Why are you sad?
Me: Because I hate girls.
Hilary: But...I'm a girl...
Me: But not a girl I want to date. There's a difference.
Hilary: Ah, I see. I didn't know what method of hating we were working on.
5 tags
Hold On. One More Time With Feeling
Feeling? I have none. I’m numb right now. I know that’s the dumbest thing in the world to say but after the park with Stevie and Anna and letting it all out I have nothing left in me. I don’t know what I should be feeling.
Part of me is angry. Part of me is sad. Part of me is happy. But all of me is confused. I wish that I could close myself off like you have. I wish I was in...
2 tags
Check It Out →
I know I’ve already posted this. But I changed some settings. Anyone can look at it. But if you do please leave a comment or send a message. I want to know what people sincerely think.
Why Are You Crying? Because I Love Justin... →
Look Out World. Here Comes The Catherine.
Really? How can you just disregard 3 years of your life? Not disregard. But ignore. Ignore? I don’t know. But we made all those plans. We had all those ideas. We loved each other. And now I’m being left again. Any relationship I’ve ever been in. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! What is it about my personality that makes people want to leave me? How am I not good enough?
I hate that you...
Listen
I Have Friends That Look Out For Me :]
Me: Hey, do you remember what I told you last night when I was upset?
Sam: About the guy who just made it to the very top of my hit list? I swear on what little bit of my soul remains that I will never tell.
Me: You read my mind. Thank you so much. Do you know if anyone was talking about it?
Sam: A few people, maybe. But we're your friends and all we wanted to do was get you dancing again. No one is going to talk about it and you still somehow managed to have a great time. I don't know about you but I'd call that a win.
Me: That makes me feel so much better. I really, really appreciate you not bringing it up again. You're a great friend. It happened like a year and a half ago and he doesn't even live around here so I'll be okay. I don't want you to worry.
Sam: Hey I really didn't do much. Thank Anna, Stevie, and T-Walk. They're the ones who got you back downstairs and you're clothes back on.
Me: So true.
You Know, I'm Really Glad You're Not Talking To Me
I mean it. I’ve thought a lot today. And, honestly, we don’t have that connection. We did at first. We really did. But then things got too sexual and we moved too fast and you got boring. I don’t like to sit around and do nothing. Not when there’s another person around. Not when we both have cars and money and a city full of things to do. We don’t have conversations....
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I Could Be Your Memory
It’s times like these when I wish I could just call you up and you could come over and everything could just go back to the way things were. I just want you to come over and cuddle with me and let me fall asleep in your arms and kiss me and hug me and love me again. It’s not fair that it has to be this difficult.
It’s wrong. I know. But I miss you.
Drinkin' Out Of Cups. Bein' A Bitch →
This is the funniest video I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Oh I’m king of the trees, I’m the tree meister.” “This guy thinks he’s Captain Knots. Anybody needs some knots tied they go to him. BULLSHIT.” “Little kid in the background going fucking cra-zay-ay-ay-ay-ay” “Mr. Walkway. Mr. Walk Down Me. I’m the walkway. Lead me to the...
It's Too Late To Be On Facebook
Sean: My brain hurts. Apparently it's contagious through Facebook.
Me: Damn. I don't want us all to become brain hurt Facebook zombies.
WatchI still dance like this.
Like Kelly Clarkson, I Do Not Hook Up.
You are the most confusing boy I’ve ever met in my entire life. Honestly. If you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine. Just tell me!!! I’m tired of this “not replying” bullshit. I know you have a life. That’s fine! I’m not asking to see you everyday (though it would be nice). I’m just asking to talk to you. That’s why I ask dumb...
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Just A Few Things
1. Why yes. Catherine does have a bruise on her collarbone. Thanks for asking.
2. Does a spotless room make a spotless mind? I hope so. I’m seriously gutting that place. Five months from next Wednesday and I’m out of here. Does it make me cry? Yes. Yes it does. Partly because I’m so excited and partly because I’m so scared. (FYI: I have extremely overactive tear ducts....
Do You Know How I'm Feeling?
Because I don’t.
I exercised today. I walked, a lot. I danced around like crazy in my room for an hour. On 400 calories. I’m hungry but I can’t eat. I want to but I can’t. I’m tired and I know it’s because I haven’t eaten. I’m not a psychotic calorie counter. I don’t starve myself to lose weight. I don’t have a problem with food. Why...
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Semi-Creative →
Just do it.
Because This Is What You'e Doing To Me
This is for me. Just me. I’m not trying to make a profound statement. I’m not trying to dissect my past. I’m not trying to question my life or the way things work. I just need to get these things out of my system.
I know I apologize a lot. I know I apologize about stupid things. I know you hate it when I apologize about the stupid things. I know you say “stop it,...
Learn, Sister, Learn
Robin: What are you doing for your birthday? Mom says you might have a date with Cameron, haha.
Myself: Why are you laughing?
Robin: Because it's Cameron. I think he's funny. Oh wait there are two Camerons!
Myself: Yeah! She's not talking about Cameron T. I wouldn't go on a date with him. You should learn things.
Robin: You're right. I should.
This One's For You (You Know)
Mix CDs. I make them all the time. My girlfriend and I used to make them for each other. It was cute. We’d put on all the songs that reminded us of each other or of our relationship. Since we broke up it’s been kind of hard to listen to them. But here’s what I realized today: They don’t mean anything.
What I mean by that is they aren’t as profound as I thought they...
Money In The Bank. →
More of my writing. Mainly just my writing. I just want to know what people think.
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
I watched the proverbial sunrise Coming up over the Pacific and You might think I’m losing my mind, But I will shy away from the specifics… ‘cause I don’t want you to know where I am ‘cause then you’ll see my heart In the saddest state it’s ever been. This is no place to try and live my life. Stop right there. That’s exactly where I lost it. ...